Fun With the Family Vacuum

A recent press release refers us to the recent acquisition by badfun.com of the European toy Vortex Vibrations, “an innovative sex toy that harnesses the power of the household vacuum to increase clitoral sensitivity. Invented by a mother of three, the Vortex Vibrations was designed as an alternative treatment for women sufferring from sexual dysfunction.”

“The device consists of two plastic tubes that attach to the end of a vacuum hose to concentrate air flow which creates a rapid and gentle vibration.”

Which all sounds strangely kinky and intriguing, sort of like fucking a milking machine or, for those savvy pervs among you, using a $30 pore cleanser for clitoral suckage, which works surprisingly well. But you’re probably thinking the same thing I’m thinking: “Will this fucking damage me?” The FDA is also wondering whether sexual dysfunction is a disease or condition, which amounts to them wondering if pharmaceutical companies can make money off of it — but I digress.

Read more at Eros Zine.

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