Ass Squirts (DVD Review)

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In case you prefer actually watching porn to debating the finer points of constitutional law, I’ll fill you in: Extreme Associates has been the defendent for some years in a federal obscenity case, which recently got the go-ahead to proceed when the Third Circuit Court reversed an earlier court’s ruling dismissing the case.

It is, therefore, with some desire to support a persecuted minority of god damned freakazoid weirdos that I find myself at the Extreme Associates release of director Thomas Zupko’s Ass Squirts, of which Zupko promises “You’ll either love it or hate it but I guarantee you’ll never forget it.”

The ambivalence — that is, neither love nor hate — that I feel toward it is probably an artefact of my oddly Victorian upbringing cross-referenced with the stack of creampie titles threatening to fall on my head at any minute. But I will say that I now understand better than ever what gives Justice Department a hard-on, and it ain’t about olive oil.

Ultimately, I don’t know who these people are or where they came from, but I’m just relieved it wasn’t a bunch of spraying enemas; in fact, there are virtually no ass squirts in here at all, but I remain untroubled by the false advertising given that genuine ass squirts often threaten to create, in me, the dry heaves.

Read more at Eros Zine.

 

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