Bad Sex in Fiction Panel at West Hollywood Book Fair

This coming weekend I’m speaking on a panel, “Fictional Sex: The Good, The Bad and the Never to Be Done Again,” at the West Hollywood Book Fair, from 3:30-4:30pm on Sunday, September 30. (Yeah, actually, that means I’ll be missing Folsom Street, but I’ll be around for PPO on Saturday night).

The panel is a takeoff on the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award, which has been described to me as follows: “They give this dubious prize to the author of a horrible sex scene in an otherwise well-written book.  We will use this as a jumping off point to discuss the vagaries of writing erotica.”

I will be reading from Irvine Welsh’s Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs, to wit:

It was uncomfortably hot in Mary’s flat, but Skinner took a seat opposite the fat old woman. – Can you help me? He said earnestly.
– What’s your problem?
He told her that he believed that he had put a spell on somebody. He wanted to know if this was possible, how he could have done this, and how it could be reversed.
– Oh aye, it’s possible. Mary regarded him cannily. – I can help you, but I need payin first, son. Money’s nae use tae me at ma age. Her eyes wrinkled. – You’re a fine-lookin laddie, she said harshly. – A good cock, son, that’s the payment I need!
Skinner looked at her, and shook his head …
– Take oaf yir clathes then, let me see the goods, Mary rasped in lecherous cheer.
As Skinner undressed, the old woman removed her coat and began to struggle out of a series of cardigans, pinafores and vests. Lying on the bed, she looked smaller but still monstrous, wrinkled rolls of flab spilling over the mattress. Foul aromas rose from the putrefying pools of sweat and dead skin trapped within the folds of her flesh. – Thoat ye’d be bigger, Mary pouted as Skinner removed his Calvin Klein briefs.

Before and after, I will be hanging out at the Dedalus Press book; Dedalus is the publishing arm of Stockroom. If you read this blog and go to the West Hollywood Book Fair, come up and say hello, and I promise to be shocked, SHOCKED I tell you. 

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