Splatter Beach (DVD Review)

The cover of this flick features a decapitated and screaming “Erin Brown” who, in case you are not completely obsessed with extremely bad horror and softcore lesbian porn, is the artist formerly known as Misty Mundae. Erin has changed her name, apparently, to focus on her “serious” acting career, which she showcases with aplomb in this wacky spatfest by delivering her lines in a strange monotone and claiming to be a lesbian even though hers is an entirely non-sex role (as they all are here). Splatter Beach also stars Erika Smith, who I am obsessed with much like the MST3K robots are obsessed with Kim Cattrall, ever since I saw her in Countess Dracula.

Tonya, Rodney and Rupert head to Sea Bright Beach for a weekend of relaxation. Little do they know that some freaky humanoid slime creature that swims about in the lagoon and dismembers people in most gorrific fashion. Shoegazer local Tess (Brown) tries to convince them that something is seriously fucked up in paradise, but not before we get a gratuitous scene of Erika Smith disrobing (high five!). From there, it’s periodic mass slaughter of beachgoers by ol’ slimey himself, and next thing you know the out-of-towners have slogged their way through mutilated locals to discover about a zillion humanoid slime-creature egg sacks just moments from well-hatched babydom. Run! Be afraid!

Read more at Eros Zine.

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