Alex Braun’s Squirtfest (DVD Review)

Gram Ponante has written with some eloquence of the fervor that overtakes Porn Valley when the topic of squirting comes up. People are lined up on opposing sides as surely as if they were screaming “Taste great!” and “Less filling!” except that they’re screaming “Pee!” and “Not Pee!” This is similar to the debate that overtook the sex-positive BDSM Goddess-worshipping community about ten years ago, and I didn’t give a fuck then. In fact, I find female ejaculation vaguely icky, unless I’m being ejaculated upon when said ejaculation is appropriate to the circumstances, in which case it’s neither here nor there but a mere byproduct of something I sort of dig. I feel essentially the same way about male ejaculate, but don’t seem to be quite as tired of seeing it in porn, maybe because I’ve had many more years to get used to it. With the fanatical squirt frenzy now sweeping the world of porn, I stand neither with the “Pee!” or “Not Pee!” lobby but with the “CUT IT THE FUCK OUT” lobby. Don’t get me wrong: If squirting is a turn-on for you, rock on with your bad self, and if you’re a chick who digs squirting, ditto. But porn’s little obsessions get tiresome so, so quickly, and the shelf-life on this trend expired on 1/1/1994. At least for me.

 

The reason I bore you to great shuddering sobs with these facts, thoughts and half-assed opinions is to alert you to the fact that I watched Axel Braun’s Squirtfest not for the purpose of getting off on ejaculation or admiring that ejaculation, but because it happened to arrive in the mail when I was bored. I have seen some Axel Braun titles in the past and been fairly impressed, though I do seem to recall he’s big on the female squirtage. I popped it in and found the opening scene to be a massive orgy that surprised me by working.

Read more at Eros Zine.

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