Grizzly Victim: “He’s Eating My Brain”

Grizzly Victim: "He’s Eating My Brain"

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

The headline “Grizzly Victim: ‘He’s Eating My Brain'”to this video on CNN, made me remember this Smith and Wesson short-barrelled .460 revolver I saw at Cabella’s in Michigan when I was there last fall.

The extra-nerdy thing? I had already read quite a bit about this revolver before I encountered it. Why had I read about safety kits intended for use in case of bear attacks, when the closest I come to the wilderness is walking past the compost heap? Let’s put it this way: A revolver that’s useful in killing bears might also be of some small effectiveness against a twelve-foot-tall tentacle monster, which makes me sound, perhaps, even more paranoid than I actually I am. The case and the gun butt are safety yellow so you can see them in your darkened tent, which I imagine would also be helpful if you were cast into the infernal regions. In your RV.

My favorite part is that this kit also comes in orange. You can coordinate your high-visibility .460 revolver depending on your personal style.

Better yet, have two — yellow loaded with hollowpoints for bear attack, orange loaded with silver bullets blessed by an Orthodox priest ordained under a waning moon, in case of attack by… No! No, we’d better not speak of such things. Merely fanciful thoughts brought on by my chef’s curries, I assure you. Here, have another brandy and let’s talk cricket.

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