“Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot Massacre” Theory

Still from the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot Film

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Loren Coleman at Cryptomundo reposts a letter from John L. Johnsen of Grendel films that is just wayyyyyy too long for you to read, srsly. Thankfully, your intrepid not-quite-a-reporter has already done so, so you don’t have to.

Documentary filmmaker Johnsen puts forth a new theory on the 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film of (maybe) Bigfoot, unquestionably the most famous fringe-cryptozoological film source around. Johnsen believes that the Patterson-Gimlin party had been to this site before, and filmed this footage only on their second trip. On their first trip, mind you, they’d killed a bunch of Bigfoots and buried the bodies.

Sound hokey? It kinda is, not least because Johnsen’s letter opens with the impassioned plea “Before anyone goes any further with this let me say that you must read all of it. So, if you cannot do so now, please do so before making comments. That is all I ask,” which sounds more like the vernacularized opening of a Lovecraft story than a legitimate investigation into either cryptozoology or true crime.

But regardless of how hokey the theory is, it gets even curiouser. Reported on Cryptomundo again, Scott Marlowe of the Pangaea Institute has written an open letter to the DA in Humboldt County, about four hours north of me — the film was shot there, in the Six Rivers National Forest — asserting that “the ‘animal’ pictured in the film was actually a person afflicted with congenital generalized Hypertrichosis. Hypertrichosis is a medical term referring to a condition that exhibits as excessive body hair, the so-called werewolf syndrome, such as afflicts the now famous Mexican Wolf Boy.”

Nothing makes me happier than being able to use the words Lovecraft, Bigfoot and Mexican Wolf Boy in a single post, though I suppose if it makes me so fucking happy I should have done it long before now.

While we’re at it, in other Bigfoot related news, Cryptomundo has an awesome post looking at Bigfoot constructions, including Bill Munn’s kickass Gigantopithecus.

…and in other weird Youtube news, Googling “Mexican wolf boy” gets this clip tagged “lol i love mexican wolf boy,” which is not safe for work, and is largely inexplicable, since it appears to be a closeup of a vulva being rubbed. Maybe this is some kind of personal ad for woman seeking wolf boy, but since I’m in public, I think I’ll forego the pleasure.

I’m sure everybody around me in this Oakland cafe appreciates the wolf boy related porn, especially the giant crowd of cops that just entered.

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