Herman Cain’s Chief of Staff is the New Cigarette Smoking Man

The smoking is what everyone’s getting worked up about. But there are actually several weird things about this Herman Cain campaign ad:

1) First is how confused Herman Cain’s chief of staff, Mark Block, seems about his lines. He seems to pause in odd places. Block is chief of staff to a guy running for President, and he can’t be bothered to learn his lines? And when he croaks them out weirdly, their obviously highly-paid videographer with an iPhone can’t say “let’s try that again, from the top?” What demographic is that appealing to? The voters who spend all their time thinking, “Whoever I end up voting for, It’ll be the guy whose chief of staff doesn’t really care that much.”

2) Then there’s the truly bizarre gay-dance-club-at-12:30-am Autotune Anthem toward the end. WTF voter demographic are they trying to reach with that? “We go out of our way to go to really shitty clubs and complain about the music…and we like it that way?”

3) Also at the end, it’s weird how hard Cain seems to be trying to look sinister there while the Autotune Anthem plays. “Okay, now smile. No, no, smile like you just eliminated Medicare. That’s it!” Maybe he’s just trying to look serious at first, then friendly. If that’s Cain’s serious-vs-friendly face, I do not want to see his “Oh shit, the Europeans already tried this!” face.

4) Going back to Block, what the hell happens to his head there at 0:22? When he says “…can put the ‘United’ back in the ‘United States of America'” it looks like he does a bit of that Doctor Who thing where everyone became The Master. It’s pretty freaky.

5) Last, but far from least, is the cigarette. That’s right. There at the end, crusty-looking Mark Block takes a HUGE DRAG OFF HIS CIGARETTE.

Then, you wanna know what he does, just in case you missed that he just slurped a cloud deep down into his small-cells? Block blows smoke at the camera, as if to say, “Yeah, fuckwads, I’m smoking a cigarette. Wanna say something about it? Go ahead. This shit will get put out in your eye.”

It’s almost as if this video were being shot in an office park right beneath a “No Smoking” sign.

What voter demographic is Cain is going after by letting his chief of staff smoke a butt on camera? The vast legions of Republican voters who were closet X-files fans when they were younger — and who always rooted FOR the Cigarette Smoking Man?

If they’re looking for smoking fetishists…well, there are much more enjoyable ways to indulge that vice…

Julie Simone for TheRedChair.net (link is NSFW)
 

 

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