Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Best Bondage Erotica 2013

June 12, 2012

best bondage erotica 2013

I just found out my story “What Vacations Are For” will be in Rachel Kramer Bussel‘s anthology Best Bondage Erotica 2013, with a foreword by Graydancer.

Needless to say, I’m thrilled, even if I will be appearing alongside the nefarious likes of my far less talented competitor, N.T. Morley. The rest of the company, I’m sure, will more than make up for it.

Some say bondage is the ultimate intimacy. Once you have allowed yourself to fully explore your fantasies of giving in and surrendering to pleasure, you may find you need a firm but gentle hand to guide you. Let Best Bondage Erotica 2013 be your guidebook of everything BDSM. Editrix Rachel Kramer Bussel and her writers put it all out on the page in stories using everything from silk ties rope to shiny cuffs, blindfolds, wires and everything you can imagine and MORE. Best Bondage Erotica 2013 offers erotic insight for newbies and experienced players alike. These stories of forbidden desires and sexual fantasies, penned by the “masters and mistresses” of the genre, will shock, scintillate, and mesmerize.


Release date is December 11, 2012.


Circlet Press’s New Ebook Edition of Francesca Lia Block’s Erotic Classic ‘Nymph’ on Sale Through Valentine’s Day

February 5, 2012


(This post first appeared on Tiny Nibbles — LINK NSFW)


Boston indie publisher Circlet Press has been publishing erotic science fiction and fantasy since the early 1990s. One of my very favorite books they ever published was Nymph, a little hardbound collection of linked erotic stories by Francesca Lia Block.

Cooked up in a gumbo pot from equal parts ultra-hotness and ultra-gothness, Nymph is an amazingly sexy exploration of a Southern California fantasyland in which a scorchingly erotic love affair with a lost mermaid can be a Venice Beach surfer’s 6 a.m. — before he even gets coffee. Packed with melancholy eroticism and urban loneliness, Nymph pirouettes across the sexual spectrum in unpredictable ways. It shows the full range of Block’s “sensual, dream-like” approach to fiction, but in Nymph, it’s soaked in explicitly romantic sexual description that can be as beautifully heartbreaking as it is erotic.

In case you’re missing my point: Nymph is one of my favorite erotic books ever. And it just came out in a new ebook edition, available at the Circlet Books website for just $4.99, in PDF, mobi and epub formats. Here’s how Circlet describes this brilliant collection:

As in her other works, Block weaves together themes of subtle magic, youthful hopes, modern urban decay, and deep emotion, told with lyrical storybook language.The stories in NYMPH bear all the hallmarks of classic Francesca Lia Block — punk-spirited characters who celebrate love, life, and art–with one important difference: this time the author carries her vision through the full range of emotion and erotic interaction that her mature audience appreciates.

An interconnected series of stories, NYMPH is a special journey through the lives and loves of characters like Plum, a Crayon-haired girl who has a gift: if she makes love with a person, that person will then meet their true love, or Tom, a burned out surfer whose luck changes when he is rescued by a mysterious, wheelchair-bound woman, or Sylvie, a chronically depressed poet who finds beauty in unexpected places. Block’s erotic explorations of these smoky, kaleidoscopic fables are anything but conventional; these are stories of love, loss, and life, about the healing power of sex and bonding.


When it came out a decade or so ago, this book raised more than a few eyebrows. That’s because Block is primarily known as the creator of the Weetzie Bat books, a six-book series for young adults.

Weetzie Bat is every bit as interesting as Nymph, and far more important in the history of sexuality, for completely different reasons. Despite its young adult audience, the Weetzie Bat series shamelessly portrayed sexual orientation, attraction and choice as mutable across a range of options. Its main character chooses to be a single mother, and invites her two gay best friends into a Beatles-fueled threesome so that the child will belong to all of them. With its celebratory pro-queer view, the Weetzie Bat series radicalized the sexual politics of adults writing young adult fiction, without including a single explicit sex scene or the faintest whisper of exploitation. Wrapped up in magic and sexuality and set in the dreamland known as “Shangri-L.A.,” the series revolutionized queer representation in young adult fiction, portraying a wonderfully wholesome exploration of alternative lifestyles, chosen families, and even true love.

Plus, it’s just a damned lot of fun to read. Unfortunately, Block’s prominence within young adult fiction meant that booksellers and libraries didn’t know what to do with Nymph, and in my opinion it’s never gotten the recognition it deserves. When it comes to urban erotic fantasy, Block’s Nymph is sui generis and, more importantly, mind-bendingly sexy.

It may be short, but it’s lingered longer in my consciousness than many a one-night stand. Like so many of Block’s erotic love affairs, the book’s brevity only makes that last kiss sweeter and saltier as you turn the final page. Because every kiss in this beautiful book is laced with Venice Beach salt spray…and tears.

Argentinian LGBT Rights PSAs

November 26, 2011


The above Argentinian PSA got me all verklempt. It shows a series of transgender Argentinians talking about how it feels to have the name on one’s ID not match one’s identity…With its perky, music, straightforward speech and from-the-heart feel, it celebrates trans rights beautifully…and it’s on television.

Read the rest of this post (and see 3 more Argentinian PSAs) at Tiny Nibbles.

Bacon-Flavored Sex Breakfast: The Joy of Baconlube

November 16, 2011


Do you swoon when your lover brings you bacon chocolate? Do you swear by the bacon flow chart? Do you sport bacon-themed tattoos in suggestive locations? Assuming you agree that bacon is sexy, you’ll wonder why it took so long for the world of sex products took so long to get the memo. Well, thanks to a couple of bacon-flavored rocket surgeons at J&D Foods, it’s easier than ever to bring the great taste of a farm-fresh breakfast into the bedroom:

You’ve always been a lover of bacon. Well, now you can be a bacon lover with baconlube, the world’s first bacon-flavored massage oil and personal lubricant.

No more horrifying bedroom experiments with bacon grease or 3rd degree skillet massage burns.

Just Keep It Sizzlin’ with baconlube. They’ll be bacon for more.


Ow! Ow! Ow! That pain you feel isn’t an intimate grease burn, it’s the corporal pun-ishment these guys deserve — bacon flogger, anyone, extra-crisp?

Regardless of their Monty Python-esque Pun Street cred, Baconlube’s marketing team has a lotta splaining to do to us sex-educator breakfast commandos — and not just why the decided to put pictures of adorable pigs on the website, which I find only moderately creepy when we’re talking about something you eat — but incredibly creepy when we’re talking about something with which you slick up your privates that only tastes like something you eat.

No, I’m talking specifically about the obvious question that comes up when you start squirting bacon lube everywhere: can a meat product that is made up (deliciously) of about a hundred and ten percent grease be made compatible with latex, and therefore with safer sex?

Luckily, my buddy Violet says that this lube is water-based. (That link is NSFW.) This link is SFW — from the manufacturer’s blog:

Some but certainly not all of you will be happy to know that after 3 years of development and countless lives ruined, baconlube is REAL. J&D’s baconlube is water-based, proudly Made in America and is the gold standard of meat flavored massage oils.

We only made a very small quantity of this pork-flavored nectar – less than what was on the waiting list actually as we weren’t quite convinced that you really wanted this – so it’s available while supplies last.

However, I think they oughta mention the water-based nature of the lube on their product page, or they’re omitting an important piece of lube-education…especially since they’re not specific about what “water-based” means…that is, that it’s compatible with safer sex barriers like condoms.

Bacon is greasy. Lube shouldn’t be — if you’re using it with latex barriers. In case you don’t know (and I hope you don’t), oil-based lubricants degrade latex, which is why, for instance, Crisco, the favored lube of the gay fisting community, doesn’t work with latex gloves. Condoms, latex gloves, and dental dams require either water-based or silicone-based lube.

Now, one of the chief principles of teaching safer sex techniques is promoting that sex isn’t just about penetration, a fact that’s obvious to many of us but a major news flash to many others. A comprehensive and effective safer sex message focuses on how hard it rocks to engage not “only” in latex-protected penetration or stimulation, but in a whole host of hot and steamy activities, not least including things like erotic massage.

And since Baconlube is billed as a “lubricant and massage oil,” it feels to me like something’s not adding up. For the reasons above, even if it was oil-based, I would never have claimed that it’s “incompatible with safer sex,” because erotic massage is the very definition of safer sex. But its massage-friendly presentation does seem to imply that with Baconlube, we’re talking about some greasy, greasy love, doesn’t it? That’s because massages with water-based lubricants is not very effective — the lube just doesn’t stay slippery on open skin the way oils will. (It’s different if you’re talking about lube wrestling–that’s a whole ‘nother fetish.)

Therefore, since Baconlube is water-based, I’m left with only my secondary objection to it (apart from the fact that sticking bacon up your Pazuzu is an esoteric devotion at best). That is, quite simply, this: I’m betting that whoever decided to bill it as personal lubricant AND massage oil has never tried to give a massage with it. Sure, maybe the “release” part of a “massage and release.” But the next time your lover stretches out for a nice backrub, slather some KY — bacon-flavored or otherwise — or even Liquid Silk, and see what a blast that Deep Tissue stuff is.

One last extremely important fact, which I always tell to anyone thinking about “flavored” lubes — be it cherry, banana, vagina, or passion fruit:

Keep in mind that many people may be sensitive to ingredients in any flavored lube. This is particularly true of those with female sexual anatomy — which tends to be more susceptible to infection and chemical sensitivities.

Since sexual lubricants are not, in general, tested to my satisfaction, I always recommend that anyone with a history of chemical sensitivities or a tendency toward urinary tract infections, yeast infections, or just straight-up skin irritations, test new lubes tentatively before they go at it.

So J&D Foods, in offering Baconlube, has not fallen down on the job any more than any other lube manufacturer in not addressing potential chemical sensitivities. In fact, this product will surely do much to further popularize the “lube discussion” — and the more people talk about lube, the better. But the latex-compatibility issue is critical, because safer sex is so often presented in public health and popular media sources (inaccurately) as a choice between condoms and no condoms.

But I sure as hell wish they’d pointed out that it’s water-soluble in their initial blitz. That would open up a whole new world of baconlube early-adopters who know that the best way to tempt that doe-eyed hottie to stumble home with you from the dive bar is to purr in your new best friend’s (or friends’) ear(s):

“Wanna go back to my place so I can bacon-up your nethers?”

Unfortunately, the safe sex memo is omitted from the Land of Bacon…their copy is not very illuminating when it comes to bacon-flavored protection.

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make – baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool’s prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

…We’ll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it’s real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin’.

Sigh. No mention of safer sex at all. A site search for the terms “latex” and “safe sex” on the domains, the manufacturer’s, and (JD Foods’ online store) produce bacon-flavored diddly.

Incidentally, I’m just going to wax philosophic on my own carnal tastes for a moment.

I love my bacon.

I put my bacon on some weird-ass things.

But I don’t think I’ll be slurping up a bowl of bacon-flavored sex breakfast anytime soon.

When I say “I put my bacon on some weird-ass things,” I’m talking about, say, onion bagels with cream cheese, which has been known to give one of my Kosher-keeping Jewish friends an aneurysm. “Bacon on a bagel!?!? That’s some kind of sacrilege!”

As what I like to call a Jack Catholic, I submit that, well, we’re the experts in accusing people of sacrilege — and, no, sacrilege is in fact referring to a potential lover’s sexual orifice(s) as his or her “Pazuzu” — which I’ve done in recent memory (a few paragraphs ago). So putting bacon on a bagel seems pretty far down list of where I’ve fucked up in the eyes of my Creator, if s/he’s up there keeping a checklist.

If you ask me, water-based lubes tend to taste kinda gross. Most just taste, very vaguely, of non-nutritive substances. Some lubes that use grapefruit seed extract as a preservative have a slightly tangy taste, and others have various flavors that range from the extremely mild and inoffensive to the slightly-icky. It’s nothing all that challenging, really, but I wouldn’t go lapping up a bowl of water-based lube just for LOLZ.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering…this isn’t the first time Baconlube’s manufacturer has careened into erotic play.

The ultra-sexy company J&D Foods, named after bacon-flavored sexpot founders Justin and Dave, uses the tag line “Because everything should taste like bacon.” Among their previously oh-so-sexy bacon products have been bacon lip balm (for those bacon-flavored kisses!), the bacon salt Bloody Mary rim shot (er…for those bacon-flavored drunken kisses!) bacon envelopes, bacon baby formula (because everything should taste like bacon…including your baby?) and (zero-calorie!) bacon-flavored oxygen, of which the J&D web site proclaims proudly, “to many, it was Bacon 2.0.” I have to say, though, the “Eight Days of Bacon” Kosher Bacon Salt 8-Pack might be taking the word “reformed” a little far for some, but hey, what do I know? “Yes,” says J&D, “there are rabbis out there with enough chutzpah to certify our products as kosher.”

Regardless, Justin and Dave should check their email for at least outraged one bacon-loving sex educator, who plans to demand that they prominently state that their bacon-flavored love is compatible with latex barriers.

Maybe they’ll rise to the challenge, huh?

Who’s to say that bacon-scented condoms aren’t in our future?

Herman Cain’s Chief of Staff is the New Cigarette Smoking Man

October 25, 2011

The smoking is what everyone’s getting worked up about. But there are actually several weird things about this Herman Cain campaign ad:

1) First is how confused Herman Cain’s chief of staff, Mark Block, seems about his lines. He seems to pause in odd places. Block is chief of staff to a guy running for President, and he can’t be bothered to learn his lines? And when he croaks them out weirdly, their obviously highly-paid videographer with an iPhone can’t say “let’s try that again, from the top?” What demographic is that appealing to? The voters who spend all their time thinking, “Whoever I end up voting for, It’ll be the guy whose chief of staff doesn’t really care that much.”

2) Then there’s the truly bizarre gay-dance-club-at-12:30-am Autotune Anthem toward the end. WTF voter demographic are they trying to reach with that? “We go out of our way to go to really shitty clubs and complain about the music…and we like it that way?”

3) Also at the end, it’s weird how hard Cain seems to be trying to look sinister there while the Autotune Anthem plays. “Okay, now smile. No, no, smile like you just eliminated Medicare. That’s it!” Maybe he’s just trying to look serious at first, then friendly. If that’s Cain’s serious-vs-friendly face, I do not want to see his “Oh shit, the Europeans already tried this!” face.

4) Going back to Block, what the hell happens to his head there at 0:22? When he says “…can put the ‘United’ back in the ‘United States of America'” it looks like he does a bit of that Doctor Who thing where everyone became The Master. It’s pretty freaky.

5) Last, but far from least, is the cigarette. That’s right. There at the end, crusty-looking Mark Block takes a HUGE DRAG OFF HIS CIGARETTE.

Then, you wanna know what he does, just in case you missed that he just slurped a cloud deep down into his small-cells? Block blows smoke at the camera, as if to say, “Yeah, fuckwads, I’m smoking a cigarette. Wanna say something about it? Go ahead. This shit will get put out in your eye.”

It’s almost as if this video were being shot in an office park right beneath a “No Smoking” sign.

What voter demographic is Cain is going after by letting his chief of staff smoke a butt on camera? The vast legions of Republican voters who were closet X-files fans when they were younger — and who always rooted FOR the Cigarette Smoking Man?

If they’re looking for smoking fetishists…well, there are much more enjoyable ways to indulge that vice…

Julie Simone for (link is NSFW)


Republican Frontrunners’ Constitution Amendment Would Outlaw Birth Control Pills

October 24, 2011

From my new article in Tiny Nibbles: Flip-flopper Mitt Romney demonstrates not only that he’s confused on the abortion issue, but on how babies are made; Rachel Maddow helps him sort it out.

But all major Republican candidates advocate a Constitutional Amendment that would eliminate all hormonal contraception, including The Pill. Michele Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain don’t seem all that clear on this. Ron Paul, at least, understands what he’s advocating, since as a physician he’s delivered 4,000 babies. But his opposition to Federal regulation of abortion is strictly on procedural and States’ Rights grounds.

Or maybe it’s that Bachmann, Pawlenty, Huntsman, Perry and Cain understand wanting to outlaw all forms of hormonal birth control will be poison to voters once they get past the hazardous-to-their-health Republican primary. No candidate can win the American Presidency by planning to change the Constitution to outlaw The Pill. Read all about it at Tiny Nibbles.

As many of you may know, I’ve been writing articles on sexual health, science and politics for my good friend Violet Blue’s blog, Tiny Nibbles, the second most-trafficked sex-related blog on the internet. This article on the Republican frontrunners’ stance on a life-begins-at-conception Amendment to the US Constitution is my latest article for Tiny Nibbles.

As the election heats up you can probably plan on seeing me getting more worked up over sexual health politics, so…get used to it. There will also be zombies…some day. Some day there will be zombies. Some day.


Donor Unknown (2010, dir: Jerry Rothwell)

October 20, 2011

Docfest: Donor Unknown

Reviewed by Thomas Roche for SF Appeal

Director Jerry Rothwell’s 2010 film Donor Unknown has its final Docfest screening tonight at 5pm at the Shattuck. It tells the story of 20-year-old JoEllen Marsh, a Pennsylvania girl with two mommies who’s always wanted to learn about her biological father, an anonymous sperm bank donor, whom she knows as “Donor 150.”

Through a website for the biological children of sperm donors, JoEllen finds her New York half-sister Danielle, and their story getting covered in the New York Times. It comes to the attention of Jeffrey Harrison, who lives alone in an RV with four dogs and a pigeon in California…. and once upon a time, was the hard-up-for-cash Donor 150.

Read the rest on SF Appeal.


Best Sex Writing 2012

October 14, 2011

My article “Men Who ‘Buy Sex’ Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies,” which first appeared at Tiny Nibbles, has been selected for inclusion in Best Sex Writing 2012 from Cleis Press.

On-sale date January 12, 2012!

It’s a huge honor to be included.

Thanks to Rachel Kramer Bussel and Susie Bright for noticing the piece and selecting it!