Posts Tagged ‘herman cain’

Herman Cain’s Chief of Staff is the New Cigarette Smoking Man

October 25, 2011

The smoking is what everyone’s getting worked up about. But there are actually several weird things about this Herman Cain campaign ad:

1) First is how confused Herman Cain’s chief of staff, Mark Block, seems about his lines. He seems to pause in odd places. Block is chief of staff to a guy running for President, and he can’t be bothered to learn his lines? And when he croaks them out weirdly, their obviously highly-paid videographer with an iPhone can’t say “let’s try that again, from the top?” What demographic is that appealing to? The voters who spend all their time thinking, “Whoever I end up voting for, It’ll be the guy whose chief of staff doesn’t really care that much.”

2) Then there’s the truly bizarre gay-dance-club-at-12:30-am Autotune Anthem toward the end. WTF voter demographic are they trying to reach with that? “We go out of our way to go to really shitty clubs and complain about the music…and we like it that way?”

3) Also at the end, it’s weird how hard Cain seems to be trying to look sinister there while the Autotune Anthem plays. “Okay, now smile. No, no, smile like you just eliminated Medicare. That’s it!” Maybe he’s just trying to look serious at first, then friendly. If that’s Cain’s serious-vs-friendly face, I do not want to see his “Oh shit, the Europeans already tried this!” face.

4) Going back to Block, what the hell happens to his head there at 0:22? When he says “…can put the ‘United’ back in the ‘United States of America'” it looks like he does a bit of that Doctor Who thing where everyone became The Master. It’s pretty freaky.

5) Last, but far from least, is the cigarette. That’s right. There at the end, crusty-looking Mark Block takes a HUGE DRAG OFF HIS CIGARETTE.

Then, you wanna know what he does, just in case you missed that he just slurped a cloud deep down into his small-cells? Block blows smoke at the camera, as if to say, “Yeah, fuckwads, I’m smoking a cigarette. Wanna say something about it? Go ahead. This shit will get put out in your eye.”

It’s almost as if this video were being shot in an office park right beneath a “No Smoking” sign.

What voter demographic is Cain is going after by letting his chief of staff smoke a butt on camera? The vast legions of Republican voters who were closet X-files fans when they were younger — and who always rooted FOR the Cigarette Smoking Man?

If they’re looking for smoking fetishists…well, there are much more enjoyable ways to indulge that vice…

Julie Simone for (link is NSFW)



Republican Frontrunners’ Constitution Amendment Would Outlaw Birth Control Pills

October 24, 2011

From my new article in Tiny Nibbles: Flip-flopper Mitt Romney demonstrates not only that he’s confused on the abortion issue, but on how babies are made; Rachel Maddow helps him sort it out.

But all major Republican candidates advocate a Constitutional Amendment that would eliminate all hormonal contraception, including The Pill. Michele Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain don’t seem all that clear on this. Ron Paul, at least, understands what he’s advocating, since as a physician he’s delivered 4,000 babies. But his opposition to Federal regulation of abortion is strictly on procedural and States’ Rights grounds.

Or maybe it’s that Bachmann, Pawlenty, Huntsman, Perry and Cain understand wanting to outlaw all forms of hormonal birth control will be poison to voters once they get past the hazardous-to-their-health Republican primary. No candidate can win the American Presidency by planning to change the Constitution to outlaw The Pill. Read all about it at Tiny Nibbles.

As many of you may know, I’ve been writing articles on sexual health, science and politics for my good friend Violet Blue’s blog, Tiny Nibbles, the second most-trafficked sex-related blog on the internet. This article on the Republican frontrunners’ stance on a life-begins-at-conception Amendment to the US Constitution is my latest article for Tiny Nibbles.

As the election heats up you can probably plan on seeing me getting more worked up over sexual health politics, so…get used to it. There will also be zombies…some day. Some day there will be zombies. Some day.